Flake-Gate

Posted on February 11, 2014 by bvanrysdam

The 2014 Winter Olympics are in full swing and already we’ve seen fantastic finishes, thrilling upsets and stories of perseverance and determination. Unfortunately, most of the social media world’s attention was focused on “Flake-gate”; the unfortunate malfunction which occurred during the opening ceremonies.

Some of the posts are goofy, others are mean spirited. There were even “reports” which claimed that the man responsible for the 2014 Winter Olympic ring failing to open at the Sochi Opening Ceremony had been found dead (and you know they can’t put anything on the internet that isn’t true).

Before we go off and laugh too hard, I would urge Houstonians to remember another notorious malfunction that took place, and ended up dominating a different sporting event. I speak of course about the infamous wardrobe malfunction that took place at Reliant Stadium during the Super Bowl XXXVIII halftime show. We all remember the event, but who remembers the game?

Many NFL fans and sports writers widely considered Super Bowl XXXVIII one of the better, if not the best Super Bowl. Sports Illustrated football guru and writer Peter King hailed it as the “Greatest Super Bowl of all time.” The game went back and forth in thrilling fashion and was finally decided on New England kicker Adam Vinatieri’s 41-yard field goal with four seconds left, yet it was Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake’s performance that people talked about afterwards.

So what will we remember from the 2014 Winter Olympics? The amazing stories of accomplishments, or a technical mishap? I think I’ll remember how, once again, a world can come together with different countries and cultures, compete with great sportsmanship and respect, and remind us that it is possible, if only for a few weeks, to believe that we more alike than we are different.

The China Syndrome

Posted on July 23, 2012 by bvanrysdam

The Olympics haven’t even started and already we’re being treated to trash talking and finger pointing. This has nothing to do with the games themselves, but the fact the official U.S. Olympic teams outfits were made in China (insert gasp here).

You don’t hear a lot of agreement in Washington these days, but it appears everyone can agree outsourcing the making of the outfits to China was a bad idea. Republican House Speaker John Boehner said that Ralph Lauren (who is the evil mastermind behind this sinister plot) should “know better”. Senate Harry Reid from Nevada said “the uniforms should be put in a pile and burned” immediately conjuring heartwarming images of book burnings in Nazi Germany and burning Beatles records in the bible belt.

Interesting how politics can make force one to speak out of both sides one’s mouth. Moving jobs to China is simply part of free enterprise and part of living in a global economy, but having an American company like Ralph Lauren manufacture uniforms to be worn by our Olympic athlete is simply un-American! What’s a citizen to do? Next thing you know, they’ll want to take away our iPhones!

Now before we go and burn Mr. Lauren in effigy (although one does wonder what he would wear to it), it’s important to remember that only 5% of clothing sold in the United States was actually made by Americans (that figure was 95% back in 1960). Hindsight being 20/20, Ralph Lauren could have created a wonderful “Made In America” campaign and had us all waving the flag, but than again, nobody seemed to care that the U.S. Uniforms for the 2002 Winter Olympics held in Utah were made in Canada.

Putting all that aide, I’m more irked that they will be wearing berets with strip of red, white and blue that looks more like the French flag (is that is supposed to invoke a feeling of Americana?).

And what’s up with the huge Ralph Lauren logo on the front the blazer? Those makes soccer uniforms seem classy. If we want to go down that road, why take a cue from NSCAR and sell multiple sponsorship logos? Maybe we can use that money to bring down the nation debt.

Was it Something I Said?

Posted on June 23, 2012 by bvanrysdam

So here’s the scenario. A media company broadcasts something the Federal Communications Commission deems indecent. The FCC decides to revise its’ policy in response to the broadcast and then fines the media company for it after the fact. Make sense?

The U.S. Supreme Court didn’t think so. In a rare unanimous ruling, the high court threw out the fines and sanctions issued by the FCC. The court concluded that the broadcasters could not have known in advance, the broadcasts would later be deemed indecent and subject to fines. In other words, they said it wasn’t fair to change the rules in the middle of the game.

The indecent broadcasts included a brief display of nudity on ABC’s “NYPD Blue” and several obscenities uttered by Cher and Bono during different awards shows. In case you’re having trouble remembering; The “NYPD Blue” episode “Nude Awakening” aired on February 25, 2003. Yes, the wheels of justice do turn very slowly.

What the court did not do is free “over the air” broadcasters from the regulations that other media outlets (Cable, The Internet, etc.) are free from. While that argument may be compelling, the government still controls the airwaves and can dictate different rules, even if many viewers don’t realize they are switching back and forth between a cable channel and a broadcast channel. It appears that, for now, broadcast outlets (television and radio) will still have to adhere to the current policy.

In case you were wondering, the infamous Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction was not part of this ruling. That case is currently making its way through the judicial process. The government has appealed a lower court’s ruling that threw out the fine in that case.

In regards to the case just wrapped up by the Supreme Court, Justice Anthony Kennedy said “it is unnecessary for the court to address the constitutionality of the current policy” which means we might get to relive the Super Bowl half-time show from Reliant Stadium all over again. Anybody want to place on bet on how that ruling will come out?

Now granted, the faster technology moves, the harder it is for laws and regulations to keep up. Social standards can also change, causing even more confusion as to what is, and what is not acceptable. Still, it seems like we just wasted a bunch of money. In the last month, the Government has lost its case against John Edwards, Roger Clemens and now this. With a record like that, they very well might end up replacing the Astros for last place.

It’s the End of the World as We Know It…I Feel Fine

Posted on March 6, 2012 by bvanrysdam

Much ado has been made about the year 2012 and the Mayan calendar predicting the end of the world. While Doom’s Day prophecies are as common as failed weddings from the Bachelorette, they are largely ignored by most sane people.

Remember Minister Harold Camping? He went out on limb, not just once, but twice (I think there was a rounding error on his 1^st prediction) urging us to empty our 401k’s and get ready for the big end. Sadly for him, he was proven wrong on both occasions.

Other near-famous unsuccessful prophecies include…

Haley’s Comet 1910…Stories abounded about a horrific gas cloud called Cyanogen that trailed the infamous comet (which incidentally was not named for the early rock ‘n roll star, but for some astronomer). Fortunately cooler heads prevailed and years later we eventually were able to “Rock Around the Clock”.

Heaven’s Gate 1997…It’s obvious that Comets play a big role in determining the end of the world. The Heaven’s Gate cult believed that an alien spacecraft was following the comet Hale-Bopp. Sadly, the members of the cult put their money where their mouth was and committed suicide fearing it was their only chance to survive before the Earth was “recycled”.

Y2K…Many feared computers would fail to understand the change from 1999 to 2000 causing massive blackouts, nuclear weapons launching and toilets to stop working. Thankfully, we were able to still flush in the new millennium.

I personally never held much stock in these predications until I learned that Snookie’s due date is December 21, 2012; the exact same date as predicted by the Mayans. Now I always considered “Jersey Shore” to be some kind of preview as to what the end of the world would look like, but I ask you; what are the odds?

You may think I’m being foolish, but I for one plan on cashing in my IRA and heading to Belize to party with the Mayans. If the world is going to end, I want to be with the folks who got it right.

Where is the Love?

Posted on December 14, 2011 by bvanrysdam

Why do people hate Tim Tebow? For those of you who don’t follow football (and you know who you are); Tim Tebow is a 2nd year Quarterback for the Denver Broncos. Before becoming a pro, Tebow led his college team, the Florida Gators, to a national championship and, oh yeah, he also won a Heisman Trophy.

So why are so many people rooting against him? One pundit on the Mickey Mouse sports network, Mel Kiper, Jr. believed Tebow didn’t have the intangibles to play quarterback in the NFL. “I don’t think he can be a full time quarterback. I don’t think he can be the quarterback of the future for you”, said Kiper. (Disclosure notice: I am long suffering Buffalo Bills fan, so I really don’t have an axe to grind either way)

It’s not the difference of opinion that is getting a lot attention, but rather the “way the opinions are being given” which again begs the question; why don’t people like Tim Tebow? Is it because he beats up his girlfriend? Has he been involved in dog fighting? Maybe he was arrested for DWI? No, it’s because he’s a Christian and proudly displays his faith.

Stephen Tullock, a linebacker for the Detroit Lions, made it personal when he mocked Tebow after sacking him in a game this year. As Tebow picked himself up off the turf, Tullock started “Tebowing” – a mocking prayer on bended knee.

Steve Johnson, a wide receiver for the Buffalo Bills was fined $10k when he celebrated a TD pass in which he mocked NY Jets Plaxico Burress by pretending to shoot himself in the thigh. (Burress served 20 months in prison on a weapons charge after accidentally shooting himself in a New York City nightclub in 2008).

What does one take away from that? Don’t mock someone for being an idiot with a gun, but go ahead and mock the guy who prays?

Now I’m not a big fan of someone coming to my door (causing me to miss the prize puzzle on “Wheel of Fortune”) to hand me a pamphlet on how I can become a much better person by giving my life savings to his church. Tebow thanks God for his success, but is that any reason to root against him? Would you rather see someone celebrate by banging their chest, or doing the throat slash sign instead?

Television announcers love to proclaim to us mere mortals that “the NFL is a results business” (and I thought it was about making money). Well so far this year, Tebow is delivering the results. After becoming a starter in the middle of the season, Tebow has gone 7-1 and, despite his faith getting in the way, engineered another miracle comeback last Sunday. (It was his fifth comeback in eight weeks, but then who’s counting).

So go ahead, mock him when he wants to thank the big guy upstairs, just don’t count him out when you need a miracle to happen.